New Found Emotion - Spoken Word

New Found Emotion

This feeling that I have is so indescribable, undefinable yet likable and excitable all at once. I wish it came with a manual so I can control it because I just can’t- as it seems to know how to control me. This new found emotion, so mysterious like the sound of the ocean’s motion in the still of the night, I can hear the waves calling my name and I can see the sunset in sight, subtle and peaceful…silent yet loud. My pulse rises with the very sounds of nature as this new found emotion is so major it enhances my senses. Collectively amounting to so much more, from my inner soul it makes me want more and more. Yes I confess this new found emotion has me open like an entrance as I stare at the exit sign wondering, Why am I still here in this position of immobility? Stuck as to what to do and where to go. I guess I should say just let it go, let it flow, but I admit I’m scared of the end result. If I stay with this new found emotion will it progress and continue to grow. I don’t know, I've never felt this way before. From then to now my feet have begun to lift off the ground. What is this new found emotion to have my guards let down and feelings of mushiness all around? Surrounding my body as it warms my soul, invading my mind as it molds and consoles the very depths of my thoughts, this new found emotion has seemed to of found me, although I was not looking for it. But then again I wouldn't of know what I was looking for because you see I was trapped inside a dark box labeled life till the light began to shine through and set me free. What is this new found emotion that has rescued me? What is this new found emotion that has resurrected me? Brought back to life from being caught up in life emotionless to touch and feelings, numb from false dealings of others and false intentions not to mention the misery that used to stalk me as if to prey, so I stopped to kneel and pray before the claws extended to catch me. I got away and perhaps final destination was lurking among the shadows just waiting for a second chance. But you see I was found by this new emotion that gives faith in troubled times, reminds me of how far I've come staring back at the very shadows that wish to swallow me whole. I know now that even without control this new found emotion has made me feel whole, ironic because my heart was once filled with holes that are now filled with bliss and ecstasy, feels like the presence of joy is always next to me. All from this new found emotion that has found me when I needed to be found most from being lost and under a spell of pain and pity, that once used to say I wasn't strong or pretty enough, wasn't good or good enough, now this new found emotion says enough is enough. What is this feeling? Where did it come from and is it here to stay? For I wish not to stray or run away from this new found emotion but instead embrace and seek to understand it for it although never being experienced, this new found emotion seems to know me as if to be a long lost friend coming back to take hold of my hand. Making me feel grand and telling me yes you can, confidence meets self, past meets present as the future is still a mystery as is this new found emotion that mysteriously has come over me, this new found emotion of loving me. - Nikki J.